Do you know me?

hands reaching out togetherBe still and know that I am God.  –Psalm 46:10

Our next door neighbor’s 4 year old son was playing on top a pile of rocks we had in our driveway to even out our grade.  We were just newlyweds so child’s play wasn’t really part of our vocabulary.  At one point he looked up to see another little guy on his bike with training wheels riding next to his dad. “Hey! Do you know me?” our neighbor hollered across the yard.  His sincerity oozed from the question.

Children and their innocence can teach all of us to let our guard down; step out of your comfort zone and meet someone or something new.  He wasn’t worried what this boy or his dad might think or say or not say.  He reached out and in his own way.

As I reflect on times of loneliness or despair I wished I had sought out a friend as my 4 year old neighbor did that day.  I do not know where you are in your journey to conceive, but I encourage you to reach out to the Lord, to dig a bit into your faith and seek out a friend or counsel to talk to.  Look around you when you are waiting to see your doctor.  All of the women and couples are there for the same reason like you trying to have a family or grow family that they have.  They are aching like you.  You may be surprised that you know them better than you think just because you are sharing similar trials.

You may be wondering if the boy on the bike stopped to talk to my neighbor.  No he did not.  He looked up to see who was yelling but he never stopped pedaling and passed on by.   Our little neighbor didn’t seem bothered and went right back to his heap of rocks.    Don’t allow an opportunity to grow a relationship pass you by especially your personal relationship with the Lord.  He does not ignore those who love him.  Sometimes his plans don’t coincide with our own and we feel forgotten.  Be patient and strong as he reveals his plan for you.  Its always better than what you had planned for yourself.  Lean into him and his word so when you hear him ask “Do you know me?” you can answer lovingly and boldly, “Yes Lord I know you and I trust in the plans that you have for me.”

Dear Lord, thank you for allowing me to know you, love you and trust in your ways.  Give me the strength when I am in the pits of exhaustion and disappointment to reach out to you and lean not on my own understanding but into you.  Amen.

I am.

Birds in V flight

I am who I am.    –Exodus 3:14

I have to breathe in this verse as I accept my imperfect self.  I am who I am.  The Lord is who he is; he is perfect; he reigns for eternity and he is willing to accept my imperfect soul into his kingdom.

He has nudged me for years now about writing words of encouragement for women, couples and families who are trying to conceive.  I keep telling him as Moses did “I am not the man for the job”, but he keeps reminding me that he knows what he is doing and to please listen to him so we can all get on with it!  So here I am writing words from my experiences, lessons learned through his grace, guidance and love and how I continue to embrace each day.

Let me tell you a little bit about who I am and who I am not.  I am not a writer which is why I am so reluctant to pen anything.  I am a private person who has never kept a journal for fear that it may be read.  I am a visual person who loves to draw, paint and actually have a Fine Arts degree in design.  I am constantly amazed at technology & fell in love with graphic design after college.  I am a daughter, a sister, a wife, an aunt, a god-mother and a mom.  Yes, I am a mother to 4 children.  I am a survivor and a lover of Jesus Christ.

I am here to tell you that he has a plan for you and me.  I feel a bit like Moses at the burning bush when God told him to go and lead his people out of Egypt.  I feel quite inept and unqualified.  I wonder if anyone will follow this blog just as Moses wondered if his own people would follow him, but if you are here that’s one more than none.  I am welcoming you into my life filled with love, anger, blessings, uncertainty, disappointment, happiness and eternal possibilities!

Heavenly Father, thank you for leading my heart and guiding my words as I maneuver through uncharted territories.  Please continue to encourage me when I feel alone and unworthy of blessings.  Allow me to open my heart and accept the plans that you have laid before me.  In Jesus’ name -Amen.